Member Appreciation Day

Wednesday was Member Appreciation Day at our gym.  We have been members since 2008, so it is safe to say, we should be appreciated. Well, Lauren did not get the appreciation she wanted/deserved. So of course it was the topic of our early morning email conversation...

Lauren to Wesley :
Subject: Wednesday

Im so snoozy.  Im going to have to go have a tea party before my interview at 10:30 am.  I am pissed about the coffee.  I am a valued customer and there is no reason all the coffee should be gone by 8:40.

Like any good husband, I wrote an email expressing my frustration that my wife was not properly taken care of.  Preface: For whatever reason, our gym likes to serve very unhealthy breakfast food on member appreciation day.....

Dear Vida,

It would be appreciated if on Member Appreciation Day, you would have enough coffee for those who like to be appreciated. Also, it is a bit of an oxymoron to serve creme filled danishes, muffin, croissants, and bagels at a GYM Appreciation Day.  You should know that is takes 20 minutes of intense running to burn off one croissant, so after getting up at the ass-crack of dawn, sweating my butt off to burn a few cals, why the HELL would you think I would want any of those options. You are promoting a "healthy lifestyle", yet serve items that Trainer Bob says should never be on your daily menu. Come on now. Wake up. Maybe if you would have had more coffee, you would have been able to wake up and realize your stupidity.

Unregards,

An Unappreciated Member's Husband

P.S. I really didnt send this, but should have.