Tuesday, February 24

Glory days...... well they'll pass you by

At last, the day has arrived. Everyone need not worry, I am not depressed. I often have been told via Lauren that our readers think my wall posts are funny. This is hard to believe seeing how if you know me in person, you would not have the same opinion. I am not funny; rarely laugh; and feel most things are not humorous. Anyways, as a professional writer, I like to hear my feedback so that I can adjust my thoughts and give the readers a little diversity in my posts. That would be the reasoning behind my recent post AND the picture involved. I was trying to reflect the seriousness that is me, along with my male dependent side that all of us guys "have" according to the females in our lives. Whatever. The past few days allowed me to revert back to my independent side of life that is now extinct. There are things that us guys just can not get away with when we have a female in our life. Those things I purposely brought back and thoroughly enjoyed. Over the past few days, I have been able to leave any and all kitchen cabinet doors open. Something I ALWAYS get "the eye" for if left open. I also could walk in the kitchen, open the refrigerator door, grab whatever I need, sit it on the counter, do whatever with it, put it back in the refrigerator, THEN close it. Why open/close/open/close? You use more energy and electricity doing it more than once. My female counterpart does not agree in this philosophy and unrightfully it is another thing that ALWAYS gets "the eye". I also have been able to leave the toilet seat up! The joy of it always being up. See the problem I see in the “toilet seat conspiracy” is that us guys are always getting flack for “not putting the seat down after we use it” blah blah blah. Nonsense. What’s wrong with putting the seat UP after you use it? Most of our readers are female, therefore as I am typing, I know I have lost this battle. The “toilet seat conspiracy” is another thing that ALWAYS gets "the eye” and a scream of disgust. My final thing that I have been able to do..... Y’all seriously, its my favorite unintentional thing I do...Unintentional because I do not realize I do it, until I am called out about it... leaving my used paper towels laying around the apt....Now don't go judging me with your first thoughts being "ewwwww" or "gross" or "that's disgusting" because really its not....About 99.9% of the time, they are from me washing my hands. See, I have this clean hand phobia, which in turn, has me constantly washing them. I also really like the soap that is in our kitchen, so I always wash my hand there. (Why don't I just buy the same soap and put it in the bathroom you ask? Who knows, that the beauty of it). I then wipe them dry with paper towels rather than a dish cloth because dish cloths are germ infested, another story......So I use paper towels.... which are clean because I just washed my hands. Its not rocket science. So after I dry them off, I lay them down on the counter or take them with me on my journey to wherever I am going in our apartment, causing them to end up all over the place. This has to be the ULTIMATE "eye" getter as she dangles the bunch up towels of paper in the bony little fingers of one hand, while her other hand is propped on her hip, with the adjacent leg perched out. As you can tell, I get this alot. So before Lo got home this evening, I did a little tidying up (i.e. closing all the cabinets doors (which were all open); taking care of the "toilet seat conspiracy"; and picking up my hand dryers. Now its back to getting the "eye"....Oh the glory days...

4 comments:

Wesley and Lauren said...

Can I please write and say that this is all COMPLETELY true. I did come home to a tidy apartment.. free of the creepy crinkled up paper towels that are left all over the apartment and the cabinet doors closed. I died laughing when I read this and I hope everyone enjoyed it too!!

mother teresa said...

Sorry Wesley...she gets the refrigerator door and cabinet doors phobia from me, which I, in turn, got from my mother. I guess your kids will be door phobes too.

MS Mom said...

Wesley,when did you start leaving paper towels all over the place and cabinet doors open? College?
My question is: do you still place empty milk jugs and tea pitchers in the frig? :)
Love conquers all.
MS MOM

Wesley and Lauren said...

YES, Wesley still does that!! He actually leaves them on the counter right next to the trash can without actually putting them in the trash.

Hehe love you Wesley :)